A Note on Love & Shadow
Updated: Oct 30, 2020
A great teacher of mine once said, "The greatest the Light a person has,
the deeper the Shadow they carry."
The truth is that back then I didn’t understand my teacher’s words, but now after several years, I think i stumbled upon that very «wall» my self. Why I call it a wall? Because I sense that many times my childish idealistic side wants to believe that there is «only» light and there is only goodness and that if i work hard enough and will be a “good girl” i will only be in the Light/higher vibration.
What a myth?!
The truth is, as I went deeper in my work, the more challenging and darker shadows I kept finding. Particularly in ancestral healing, several times I felt like hitting some solid walls of events and energies, such as persecution, genocide, poverty, violation etc. What I then realized was that in our daily walking life we don’t comprehend how deeply these events affected our lives, our DNA our over all make up. In other words we are mostly unaware that ancestral “stuff” is part of our Shadow.
So when it comes to Love, I ask
-can you love me when you see my Shadow? Can you love me, when you see my humanity, can you love me, not for how sweet I am, not for how beautiful, or convenient it is or because I serve your purpose! Can you love me without demand? Is there such a thing as “true” love?
-Can I love you, when I see your Shadow? Can I love you, when I see your humanity? Can I love you when you don’t meet my expectations? Or am I ready to move to the next best “list” of a person? What is the thin line between disappointment and ethics concerning abuse of power and authority over another?
With great disappointment a lot of people approach me recently, just to say that the more they deepen their ways into spiritual path, the more they “open their eyes” to the truth of the human condition.
With great disappointment I recently felt in my meditation, the “lack” of a “place” of true love. And I do not speak about unconditional love but a simple place to rest without demand, a place of acceptance. How far are we from such a place? How far are we lost in conditions such as: pain, demand, planning, action, guilt, fear, survival?
Through years of daily meditation practice I realized that all those emotions are Energies, YES! we are afraid to say this, but these are entities (thoughts that took their own course) taking over our bodies. Years of studies in all fields revealed and confirmed that we are but vessels of energy. What do we allow in our bodies?
And again the question, can you still love me, when these energies take over?
Can I still love you? Can I still respect you as a Sacred Human Being when it is hard to even “see” you?
Beyond our disillusionment, our multiple layers of fear and wounding or defenses there is a beautiful place of true Love. The place of Core Essence. This is who we really are, that sparkle in the eyes, that authentic smile, that open heart.
One can see it and feel it in the most unexpected moments, usually of play, dance, contact with nature, connection, hope and true essence. That place is within us all!
So we have duality: the body which is a beautiful vessel of multiple energies and a bearer of lessons. Luckily this body comes with a Soul, a graceful, eternal and divine essence.
What is the solution for this deeply challenging realization?
For me it turned out to be the simplest truth echoing through the ages within all Sacred texts: «Know thy Self-Love thy Self-Tatwam Asi=You are That!
How simple then becomes the question?
Can I Love Me when...? -feel free to fill out the blank.
In my work I see that most of us don’t even deal with ourselves as human beings, let alone recognition, forgiveness, individuation and healthy boundaries. We are not trained to do so. This business of Self realization takes years of work for most of us.
There is Medicine in my Shadow, therefore I need to embrace my Shadow. In fact, I have no choice but embracing her, since I am going to spend the rest of my life with her! At least I need to know who she truly is.
And when you, by any chance have a burning desire to help heal the world, FIRST take your Own medicine. Like my teacher said, when I was studying Healing Touch and I was so eager to lay hands on people and apply all the amazing, magical techniques, She said: Sylvia go home and lay hands and heal yourself first! Needless to say I was kind of confused when I heard that. Now, years later I am just getting the gist of it....